My way of thinking is currently being rearranged. I will share with you the first one today.
Perfectionism.
I have always been a perfectionist and admitted that without apology and prided myself on that trait. What the Lord is teaching me is that it is not a good thing at all.
It took me weeks to process this. It is how I have lived, for years and thought it was a good and Godly trait.. Now, I have to change that and say to myself, "It is okay if it isn't perfect. You give it your best and that is great. No stressing and forget about what others will say or respond." I have to keep telling myself this about EVERYTHING, it is actually a little painful to type it out.
This is life changing and freeing. The heavy weight I always placed on myself to be perfect is now gone, well I am giving it my best, lol. Why am I surprised? Didn't Jesus say that His yoke is easy and burden is light?
Perfectionism is a driver, a destroyer and just plain mean.
No matter how hard I tried at whatever, it never seemed PERFECT. This led to me pretty much despising myself in most areas and feeling like a failure most of the time. Something I kept hidden very well from everyone,very well. Placing such a heavy load on myself, I then expected those around me to be perfect to or at least be striving for it as hard as I was and when I soon realized they were not, it made me angry that they were below "perfection" and NOT upset about it, it seemed so unfair to me!
This ruined friendships a little bit back. This ridiculous expectation that I had from those around me caused me to be mean and just plain stupid. I regret this now, but not condemned, because I know I am not perfect and that is okay.
